I Was Possessed By Martha Stewart

Do you ever get a gift or see something in a store and think, I could do that? That happens to me a lot. But see, I'm pretty lazy and I rarely act on my urge to do things...unless that urge is to sit on my couch and read blogs. I always do that. Anyway, a few weeks ago Madeline received this diaper cake and I knew it was something I could make. I said as much to Mike, and while he nodded his head and said, "Sure you could, honey," the pat he gave me on the head said otherwise. I'm not crafty, I'm not creative, and I certainly don't make things.

I forgot about the diaper cake until this last week, when I realized the baby shower for my friend Kim was on the 31st. One night I said to Mike that I needed to go shopping to get her a gift, and Mike said, "Why don't you give her that diaper cake you were so certain you could make?" Oooh, he was calling me out! Then he said, "You could always give her the diapers in a bag if it doesn't work." Bastard! He was baiting me...and it worked. I decided to make the cake.

I bought all the stuff required, and I got my camera out because I knew if I was successful, no one would believe I made it. I planned on taking step by step pictures. I started with this picture:

And then I pretty much sat there for an hour, having no freaking clue what to do. I would occasionally glance over at Mike, and he'd give me a look. Then I'd look at Maddie playing in her little gym thing, and I'd think, "Damn it! I am going to make this freaking diaper cake so she'll be proud of me!" Even though I'm pretty sure that ignoring her while I made a diaper cake isn't high on Maddie's list of things she's excited about.

At one point, something sort of clicked, and I managed to get the bottom layer.

Note that Maddie is still in her play gym.

After I made the bottom layer, I took a break, ate some cookies, and admired my handiwork. It was hard, ok?! I think I probably would have given the cake to Kim like that if Mike hadn't made me finish it. I fashioned the top two layers, but I forgot to take pictures as I went. I was too excited about my cake-making skillz.

Anyway, so I finished it, and it looked like this:

And you bet your ass I did a freaking victory dance all around our house. I was all, "In your FACE, Mike!" And I might have forced Maddie to look at the cake while I said, "Your mom freaking RULES!"

Then I had an identity crisis. I am not someone who makes things! I am someone who BUYS things. What have I become?

I brought the cake to the shower on Saturday, and as expected, my friends were like, "where did you get that?" When I said I made it, my friend Catherine said, "Wow. The way I think about you has changed." Me too, Catherine. Me too. The other shower guests were asking me how I made it, and a few of them asked me for tips on how to make one themselves. Here's my tip - it feels good to make something, but it's easier to buy something. I'm not making another one of these bad boys. Unless someone wants to pay me to make one. I am totally willing to change who I am for cash.