The Great Teething Test

As soon as Maddie's pediatrician (looooove) said it was okay to give Maddie Baby Motrin, I ran to the store to purchase all of your teething suggestions. I was surprised that I couldn't find ANY of the homeopathic teething tablets. Of course, I only went to one store, but I figured that since this is California, we'd have all that healthy stuff everywhere. Apparently the Ralph's by our house doesn't believe in that stuff. Alas.

Mike and I put together a four point rating system to determine what was the best remedy. We're very scientific. The first point was ease of use - was it easy for us or Madeline? Second, did the crying get better or get worse? Third, did the remedy amuse us, giving us a ray of sunshine amid the screams of pain? And finally, could Mike and I be arrested for implementing this remedy? Armed with our system and our instruments of relief, we put them to the test.

Tastes like DowneyThe first thing we tried was a washcloth, as suggested by Memphislis, Danielle, Jill, and Baby B. We froze one end, wet another end, and left the rest dry. She definitely chewed on the washcloth, but only when we were forcing it into her mouth. Her crying quieted briefly, but then started back with a vengeance. However, with the washcloth in her mouth, it sounded like she was crying through a pillow. Funny! We'd probably get arrested if she smothered on it, though. Less funny.

I'm thinking of putting this somewhere else.Danielle also suggested letting her chew on a baby toothbrush. This one was easy for her to grab onto and put in her mouth. The problem was she was too busy smacking herself in the face with it. Then she hit herself in the eye, and you know what they say about fun and games and eyes. Needless to say, the crying did not get better, and while watching Maddie wield a toothbrush like a tiny sword was funny, we're pretty sure we'd get arrested if we allowed her to poke her eye out.

A spoonful of quiet.Casey said she used to give her daughter cold metal spoons to gnaw on. Luckily we have some of those laying around, so we froze one and gave it to Maddie. It was easy for her to use and she loved it. Unfortunately, it lost the coldness pretty fast, and then she had no use for it, flinging it aside like trash. Since we used a serving spoon, sometimes her tongue would poke through the holes. Funny. We wouldn't get arrested for this one, either!

Not KosherBridgetsuggested we give Maddie a pickle to chew on. She also said they got funny pictures of her kids chewing on pickles. We like funny! So we tried it. Maddie was NOT having it. The second Mike put the tiny gherkin in her mouth, she yanked her head away. The look of disgust on her face was priceless. We wouldn't get arrested for this one, but I think Maddie would call the police on us if we made her eat a pickle again.

Do I look like a rabbit?SP said a peeled carrot is a good gnawing option. It might have been, if we hadn't just given her a pickle. I think the pickle was where we started to lose her trust. She didn't like the way the carrot tasted. Good for her, I hate carrots, too.

This is as big as my face.I ran into a problem when I was looking for the mini bagels suggested by Mom24 and Val - I couldn't find any. I asked the guy at Ralph's, and he said, "what are mini bagels?" Jeez Louise. I improvised and bought the smallest bag of bagels I could find, and froze them. I tried to get Maddie to gnaw on it, but she looked at me like I was mental. This is where I completely lost Maddie's trust.

Organic!Just Me said peas or popsicles (or as I call them, Popstickles) worked for her kids, so I was all ready to go with those. Then Mike pointed out that Maddie has the hand-eye coordination of a drunk chicken, and maybe we didn't want to do anything overly messy. So she got everything in the package.

Popstickles are good.She liked sucking on the wrapped popsicle, but it had the same weapon potential as the toothbrush. After she hit herself in her other eye I had to take it away from her, and that didn't make her happy.

killed it!Jess, Gemini Girl, Jill, and London2434 all suggested booze. Yeah, we didn't exactly try that one. We probably would have, if we hadn't consumed all the booze in the house during the CRYYYYYYYYYING. Note to others, a crying baby does not make a hangover feel better. Also, Mike said this picture is child abuse.

The most popular suggestion (Bec, Mom24, All Saints, Kristin, Danielle, Jen B, Jody, and Jill) was Motrin or Ibuprofen. At Kristin's suggestion, we called Dr. Loooove to make sure it was okay to give it to Maddie. We still tried all the other suggestions, because friends, drugs are not always the answer. Except in this case. Look how happy she is!
Drugs were the hands-down winner.

I am still determined to try the homeopathic tablets suggested by Shauna, Casey, All Saints, Danielle, Just Me, and Holli. I just have to find the time to, you know, look.

Seriously, thanks to everyone who left comments with suggestions! It was great to hear from so many people.

Tomorrow, really, I will let you know about her appointment with Dr. Lung. I swear.



Anonymous said...

Aww, your little Maddie is so cute. =D I just started reading this blog, but I love it! I also have a question - do you say her name like Madelyn, or does it sound like line at the end? Either way, it's a gorgeous name.

Heather said...

Aw, thank you!!! We pronounce it like "Madelyn." We knew she was going to have it pronounced wrong her whole life, but TOUGH BEANS kiddo.

Monkey's Mama said...

Oh my gosh, these pictures have me laughing out loud. She is the just the prettiest little thing!

I found you over on Flotsam and read your whole premature birth story, standing up, at 10:00pm, in my kitchen, in the middle of a packing all-nighter (we're moving). What an amazing story.

I'm hooked! I'll be checking in on Maddie from now on.

Rebecca said...

Ah teething i remember that. And I'm about to go through it again with my little boy. My sympathies. I have been reading your blog for a little while - really enjoy it. And Maddy - she's getting chubby too. You can still be Stefanie's friend. :-)

FYI - I started reading Stefanie's blog last year when I was expecting twins too. I have found reading your blogs has really helped me after one of my boys was still born at 37 weeks.

Mom24 said...

I'm glad the motrin helped. I think the secret with the booze is actually that "while it's out" the parents have some nips. It doesn't help the kid much, it just numbs the parents ears!

Too weird about the mini bagels. Here you find them in the bread aisle. I would try that one again, it might grow on her.

Good luck.

Gemini Girl said...

OK- Seriously- I was WAITING for this post. It was all I expected and more. Thanks! OMG H- I am going to miss you! I hope maddie gains 5 pounds while Im gone.

Rachel said...

Our Wal-mart doesn't sell baby Motrin, I'll have to check Walgreens.

Meijer and Kroger in our area do have the teething tablets. I haven't tried them, they were pretty pricy and the day I discovered them LG was fine. We may go back and get them tonight.

Thanks for letting Maddie be a guinea pig!

Just Me said...

Hooray, glad something is working!! Check amazon.com for the Hylands teething tabs. It's the cheapest I've found them, and you get them in a four-pack (I think) which is great for us because our kids eat them like candy now. Well, not really. But they work great for our son (1 yr old) and even our 3 yr old daughter who is cutting her 2 yr molars (yeah, my kids are S L O W teethers...).

Kristin.... said...

Oh my lord. Those photos are the best, hands down. I'm so glad Dr. Looooooove said it was ok for the Motrin. Did she give the ok to alternate between that and Tylenol? Because you can do those every 3 hours instead of every 4. It feels weird, keeping them all druggied up, but when they're in pain, it helps.
Wish I could give that baby a squeeze!

cindy w said...

Those pictures are priceless. Seriously, I can't decide which is my favorite. I love the frozen peas picture, because the bag is almost as big as she is. And the "who, me?" look on her face with the empty booze bottles is fantastic. But I also love the last one - looks like you guys definitely found the thing that works! That's awesome.

Michelle said...

Try a partially frozen banana in a mesh feeder. Once the banana is partially smooshed, my girls really went to town. Also, biter biscuits or zwieback toast. Biter biscuits are MESSY. OMG, the pictures you'll have!

hollibobolli said...

They have the homeopathic teething tablets here. Just order them with a few other things and get free shipping (over $25) and then when they get there.. they get there!!!

I love the step-by-step pictorial!!! I'm so sorry that teething sucks so bad.. This too shall pass.

April said...

I'm so glad the Motrin helped! The teething tablets are expensive but I know tons of moms who swear by them. Krogers and Whole Foods in our area carry them.

Also, Orajel has these little sticks that look like Q-tips that you can rub on gums. It seemed to help my daughter a lot, if you can get into their mouth! It just numbs the area for a little bit but it usually gave enough time for the Motrin to kick in.

Thank goodness for drugs!!

April said...

Btw, here's the link about the Orajel sticks...

Mommy's Boot Camp said...

You guys ROCK!! Thanks for the good laugh.. I'm going through the teething thing (6month old) & add 3 & 5 year olds who have their own issues! Thanks for the pictures!!

Danielle said...

Yikes! I didn't think of the coordination thing and the eye poking out!!

All in all, just don't let the Motrin run dry.

And, I tagged you. sigh. sorry. You can hate me. (Great presentation, huh?) :)

Nanette said...




Alex said...
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Jen B said...

Yay, glad the drugs helped! Maddie is so cute! Enjoy your daughter again!

S. said...


Just in case you haven't found them yet, my mom used to purchase the homeopathic little tablets for the baby at Wal-Mart. For some reason they don't have them on the shelves, but you just need to go up to the pharmacist and ask for them. They worked well for the teething problems.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle.


HRH said...

I love the series of photos. By the time I got to the peas I was falling off my chair in laughter.

Thank God you had a child to amuse yourself.

Good luck with the teething. Drugs always worked the best for me.

Threeundertwo said...

Sooo funny. I found you through good mom/bad mom. Gave you a digg.